She’s a Bitch – She’s a Ferret

I went out shopping with my daughter-in-law today. We been putting it off for ages being busy with and in our own lifes. LONG overdue. Today seemed the ‘right’ day, we both made the time and went out.

We had a GREAT afternoon. Lots of talking and sharing, as ‘girls’ do. We do get on, even though there are ‘quite’ a few years between us.

It been a few weeks now when I stopped by at Kev’s and Kirst’s, so I felt it be a good idea to see their new ‘addition’ to their family (… Yes, I wish J ) …we are talking Ferrets here. SORRY!

Ferrets are so, SO cute, BUT I don’t like their smell, needless to say cleaning them out, and also, what is it that they do being in a cage… locked up… trapped…?? . My oldest son Kev loves them and has even breed them on a number of occasions, so I support his desire in having them and giving them a loving, caring and clean home with lots of attention and playing time.

… I wish I never stopped by… Little did I know that something that cute, something that young could “go” for ME whilst being stroked and admired. Before I knew it I had the oldest of the ‘young once’ attached to my hand. Trying to get her of off me, she bit my other hand… and my attempt to stop her from biting me failed and she ‘attached’ herself to my other hand again… BLOOD everywhere and Kirsty shouting for Kevin who came running to my rescue with a tissue…

What a pain! What agony! WHAT teeth marks!

Don’t ever ‘mess’ with a Ferret !!!!

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Painful Days, Sleepless Nights – Is this Ever Going to Stop?

I am done in!

I went to bed just after midnight and again, (like most nights), woke up tossing and turning with pains under my right heel (creeping up to my knee), getting worse throughout the night. By about 3 AM I just couldn’t take it anymore and I had to get up and walk around. Another tearful, sleepless night with pains beyond words.

Is this ever going to stop?

Since my accident in October 2007 the pains have never stopped. Although some days are easier, I have days/nights where I find the pains harder to handle, but I keep it to myself and try finding comfort knowing that there are people out there who are far worse off then me. And I think about my body and how amazing it is, focusing on how it is trying to fix itself and all the little “messages” it is giving me and how it is talking to me.

I am aware and KNOW that ALL things happen for a reason, but having pains ALL day, NON-STOP, is one thing, but pains ALL night is another. I am shattered! – and at a bit of a ‘loss’ of what to do, as you can imagine after the kind of accident I have had what different messages and opinions you get from (so to speak) ‘medical advisors’. Even though without them, I would have maybe lost my foot, they can be very depressing and all else good for your ‘emotional’ healing, and to me that is a biggest part of recovering. Yesterday my doctor referred me back (her words, not that I have ever been there before) to the Specialist for fractures, the Osteo Clinic, so we will just have to wait and see.

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The Truth – What’s Your Choice?

You take the blue pill and the story ends.

You wake in your bed and you believe

whatever you want to believe.

You take the red pill and you stay

in Wonderland, and I show you how

deep the rabbit-hole goes.

What’s your choice?

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I have a secret

I think that somewhere briefly mentioned that after moving into my new apartment I was ‘housebound’ (well, ‘apartment bound’ for that matter… Do you want to know WHY?

Do you want the simple truth?

I think it is confession time!

I have had an accident!

Recap:

April 2007 – my house went on the market

June 2007 – someone made me an offer to good to be true and experienced the The Stresses of Moving House.

July 2007 – Contracts were signed and NOT that I am superstitious, but the ONLY available date for moving my things was Friday 13th. Friday 13th has always been my lucky day, so I was happy …and not only that, the ‘timing’ was right, as I had booked a ticket to go to Peru in May, not even thinking my house would sell before. It was all happening!

October 16th 2007 – I moved into my new apartment (after my return from Peru), which is very close to the sea/beach.

11 days later:

October 27th 2007 – As usual I went for my early morning walk along the beach at about 7.15AM. I didn’t walk as far as I normally do, as I had blisters on both my heels from my new hiking boots. To keep a long, painful story short, ” I had a fall”! YES, ME who walks ALL of the time!

I have NO re-collection of what happened, no evidence of how it happened or even WHY it happened… HIGHER powers, that to me is obvious.

At the time of my fall I didn’t even feel any pain… I don’t want to sound to dramatic, but for sure the pain has come and is still going after almost 4 months ( and they say it takes 18 months for me to recover…AS IF!!)

Laying on the pavement at 7.45 AM in the morning, your foot pointing the other way, unable to get up or even move, cars going past (I stopped counting after 10) trying to get eye contact, but all you see is faces turning the other way doesn’t make you feel any better. I was grateful for my mobile phone. The Ambulance came (after quite some time), put my foot back into place (OUTCH!!!!), somehow shifted me into the ambulance and off we were to A&E. My old work collegue Allan (I used to work at A&E) injected Morphine. I felt better, even though the pain doesn’t really ease off, you just don’t care as much being drugged up. My right ankle was x-rayed, and I was told by the consultant that I ‘snapped’ both ankle bones of my right ankle….and when you think it can’t get any worse…

October 28th 2007 – I had surgery!

* Outside ankle: Plate with 7 screws
* Inside ankle: Double screw and almost 30 stitches (not enough skin to hold it all together)……

October 31st 2007 – HOME

After 6 weeks in a wheelchair (had to buy my own with elevated leg rest), use of zimmerframe at home and now on crutches, life seems to be a little more ‘normal’, even though, I still cannot drive (YET), do my usual shopping (can’t carry anything),do much domestic stuff at home, stand on a chair, bend my foot, kneel on the floor (very, very stiff and tight, swollen and bruised – up to my knee cap), sleep on my tummy, go swimming, cycling, dancing or wear high heels etc…it is ‘slow’ going, and even if my physio has been quite negative (which makes me work harder on my ankle), I feel that I am making GOOD progress. A lot of my progress I put that down to being positive towards what happened as well as my recovery. I have learned a lot about myself, others, who your friends are, who you can rely on (in times of need), that the pavements are uneven and not easy to use, especially when you are in a wheelchair and not to forget, even when you see the ‘wheelchair’ or ‘disabled’ sign, access is NEVER easy and sometimes quite impossible.

My secret is out now and I hope that I am forgiven, but I did not want to go on about my pains, the treatments and of course the ocassional loneliness.

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The Sunscreen Song, Everybody’s Free to Wear Sunscreen

One of my old favs and a great Inspirational Songs – The Sunscreen Song – Everybody’s Free to Wear Sunscreen ~ makes me smile every time and brings back memories. I hope you enjoy.

It may be interesting to note that this “inspirational” song began as a newspaper column, then became an Internet hoax, was later turned turned into a song by a hipster movie director

The Sunscreen Song, Everybodys Free to Wear Sunscreen

The Sunscreen Song – Baz Luhrmann

To purchase the Sunscreen Song click on the link below:

Everybody’s Free (to Wear Sunscreen) THE SPEECH SONG

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Sands of Forgiveness

Today I have had an e-mail of Jack, a friend of mine. Jack is the guy who some time ago came to me ‘rescue’ when I was sitting on a bench in the woods getting soaked as it was raining. I haven’t seen Jack in a while, but you bet, he always gets in touch (one way or another) when he is supposed to. Amazing!

Jack send this to me today and it enough made me think about forgiveness once again.

Sands of Forgiveness
by Author Unknown

A story tells that two friends were walking through the desert. During some point of the journey they had an argument, and one friend slapped the other one in the face.

The one who got slapped was hurt, but without saying anything, wrote in the sand:

TODAY MY BEST FRIEND SLAPPED ME IN THE FACE.

They kept on walking until they found an oasis, where they decided to take a bath. The one who had been slapped got stuck in the mire and started drowning, but the friend saved him.

After he recovered from the near drowning, he wrote on a stone:

TODAY MY BEST FRIEND SAVED MY LIFE.

The friend who had slapped and saved his best friend asked him, “After I hurt you, you wrote in the sand and now, you write on a stone, why?”

The other friend replied “When someone hurts us we should write it down in sand where winds of forgiveness can erase it away. But, when someone does something good for us, we must engrave it in stone where no wind can ever erase it.”

Jack also added:
“WRITE YOUR HURTS IN THE SAND – ENGRAVE THE GOOD IN STONE”

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R.Kelly – I Believe I can Fly

With fondest memories and love always to the man in my life who has taught me how to fly

I used to think that I could not go on

And life was nothing but an awful song

But now I know the meaning of true love

I’m leaning on the everlasting arms

2 – If I can see it, then I can do it
If I just believe it, there’s nothing to it

1 – I believe I can fly
I believe I can touch the sky
I think about it every night and day
Spread my wings and fly away
I believe I can soar
I see me running through that open door
I believe I can fly
I believe I can fly
(Oh) I believe I can fly

See I was on the verge of breaking down
Sometimes the silence can seem so loud
There are miracles in life I must achieve
But first I know it starts inside of me

(repeat 2, 1)

Could I believe in it?
(repeat 2, 1…)

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The Invitation | Oriah Mountain Dreamer

By Viola Woolcott

When Oriah Mountain Dreamer wrote her profound “Invitation” to a life that is more fulfilling and passionate and with greater integrity, she did not expect the small prose poem (excerp below) to reach the level of popularity that it has.

Oriah invites us to get a life instead of buying into a lifestyle. The below excerpt of her book “The Invitation” is a word-of-mouth sensation, whose truths have resonated with people all over the world.

I appreciate that we are all different and that we all find our own way on our personal Journey’s, but for my part, I recall a time in my own life (almost 7 years ago), where this particular ‘Poem’ helped me take one day at the time, supporting me in the many hours of despair. If the poem is a challenge to us, Oriah Mountain Dreamer tells us how to meet that challenge in her inspiring book.

The Invitation
By Oriah Mountain Dreamer

It doesn’t interest me what you do for a living. I want to know what you ache for, and if you dream of meeting your heart’s longing. It doesn’t interest me how old you are. I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love, for your dream, for the adventure of being alive. It doesn’t interest me what planets are squaring your moon, I want to know if you have touched the center of your own sorrow, if you have been opened by life’s betrayals or have become shriveled and closed from fear of further pain, I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine or your own, without moving to hide it or fade it or fix it.

I want to know if you can be with joy, mine or your own if you can dance with wildness and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes without cautioning us to be careful, to be realistic, to remember the limitations of being human. It doesn’t interest me if the story you are telling me is true, I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself; If you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul: if you can be faithless and therefore trustworthy. I want to know if you can see beauty, even when it’s not pretty, every day, and if you can source your own life from its presence. I want to know if you can live with failure, yours, and mine, and still stand on the edge of the lake and shout to the silver of the full moon, “Yes!” It doesn’t interest me to know where you live or how much money you have.

I want to know if you can get up, after the night of grief and despair, weary and bruised to the bone, and do what needs to be done to feed the children, It doesn’t interest me who you know or how you came to be here, I want to know if you will stand in the center of the fire with me and not shrink back. It doesn’t interest me where or what or with whom you have studied; I want to know what sustains you, from the inside, when all else fall away. I want to know if you can be alone with yourself and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments.

Related reading:

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Inspirational and Motivational

By Viola Woolcott

Some of my favourite Quotes, (not necessarily in that order):

To be peaceful is to be free from expectations and to want nothing from anyone.

Until you value yourself, you will not value your time. Until you value your time, you will not do anything with it.
~ M. Scott Peck ~

Formal education will make you a living; self-education will make you a fortune.
~ Jim Rohn ~

Love and intimacy are more important than any other aspect in human health.
~ Dean Ornish ~

What is necessary to change a person is to change his awareness of himself.
~ Abraham H. Maslow ~

The major value in life is not what you get. The major value in life is what you become.
~ Jim Rohn ~

People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.
~ Maya Angelou ~

You must be the change you wish to see in the world.
~ Gandhi ~

Joy is not in things, it is in us.
~ Benjamin Franklin ~

Do not equate your financial worth with self-worth.
~ Trinity ~

As you begin to heal the inner you, you alter your immune system.
~ Unknown ~

Your mind is like a garden – when you plant potatoes, you will get potatoes. When you plant flowers, you will get flowers. When you plant nothing, you will get weeds….
~ Trinity ~

We ask ourselves, “Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?” Actually, who are you not to be?
~ Marianne Williamson ~

Circumstances do not make a man, they reveal him.
~ Dr. Wayne W. Dyer ~

Waste your money and you’re only out of money, but waste your time and you’ve lost part of your life.
~ Michael Leboeuf ~

As long as you don’t forgive, who and whatever it is will occupy ‘rent-free’ space in your mind.
~ Isabelle Holland ~

You cannot be lonely if you like the person you are alone with.
~ Wayne Dyer ~

It is harmful error to assume we understand something simply because it agrees with what we already believe.
~ Vernon Howard ~

We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give.
~ Norman MacFinan ~

I do not know whether I was a man dreaming I was a butterfly, or whether I am now a butterfly dreaming I am a man.
~ Chuang-tzu, early Taoists philosopher ~

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Attitude of Gratitude | My Most Fulfilled Years Yet

I was thinking today what I am grateful for – right now I am sitting on my recliner chair with my feet up and my laptop resting on my knees whilst working. That’s how it has been for the last four weeks. I know, it sounds cosy, but having fractured both ankle bones of my right ankle on one of my early morning walks, having surgery and being housebound until “further notice”… believe me, it can be all else but cosy at times.

To me it is a time of reflection and the time I am looking back over the last (almost) seven years with amazement. They have been by far the most fulfilled years yet… years full of Personal Growth beyond my wildest dreams.

I have lost a lot – and gained tenfold more… People have left my life – new friends and guides have arrived… My boys have grown taller than I am – my daughters have stepped from babies to growing into warm, gentle, joyous young women. I am blessed with four beautiful, gorgeous grandchildren…and not to forget, my loving partner who is also my best friend.

There were times when I shed enough tears to drown in – but now I have more joy, fun, laughter and love in my life than I’ve ever experienced, having the chance to grow, learn and remember more than I ever thought possible.

Do you know, I am not even sure if any of this is so unusual, but I am sure that it isn’t really better or worse, as I know that it is my awareness as well as my sensitivity to everything has become greater than it has ever been before. And what I know is that I am incredibly grateful for who I am today and all the different aspects of myself I have experienced. Learning to navigate the world and my life with understanding and insights make it an incredible journey and for that I am most grateful.

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