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Breaking Up Is Hard To Do | Lets Split Up, Maybe Next Month | Delaying The Moment | Best Kept Secret
By Viola | May 30, 2007
Breaking Up Is Hard To Do | Lets Split Up, Maybe Next Month | Delaying The Moment | Best Kept Secret
I am not an agony aunt or a relationship expert, far from it, BUT lately I have been hearing more and more about “time delay split ups”, so I have done some “investigations”.
Couples feel that by making these private decisions and working on a exit strategy by “delaying the moment” in telling their friends and families, gives them time to allow and stabilise fragile emotions as well as making it less hard on them and taking some of the immidiate stresses away. So secret break ups are on the rise!
Over the past few years “time delay” splits are on the increase and they certainly have become more common. More and more relationships (marriages for that matter) break down and to manage them, sophisticated strategies are developed. Couples decide to still live together for various reasons and sometimes they even plan to do so for some time, which makes it possible for these break ups to be “the best kept secret” for weeks and sometimes even months.
Listening to people’s opinions, I understand that it avoids outside influences as well as it stops people from gossiping by keeping their splits private until all of the details of separation are at least sorted. As most of us know, even making that final decision, there are plenty of things and issues to be sorted and dealt with.
Rhys, a friend of mine told me some time ago that a time delay split between him and his wife brought back the much-needed feeling of “control” for both of them. With the break up being final, the time delay split allowed them to manage the “fallout” and to work out together how to tell everyone i.e. children, parents, friends. From what I know and what I have seen, it worked VERY well for both of them and their children.
It all sound pretty simple to me, but to me the question remains how time delay splits would work if there was another person involved. I feel that if “cheating” would come into it, it be a total different matter.
Topics: Love |
June 9th, 2007 at 6:14 pm
Hi ola! reading your artikel and your websites for the first time I am very impressed, not only by your expert use of the english language but also your thoughts and ideas and obvious wide knowledge of lots of different aspects of life, etc. As you know I personally had a “time delay” split, which unfortunatly for me lasted for 3 years!! but only because there was someone else involved and believe me if id known about her it would not have lasted 3 weeks!!!! so yes, when someone else is involved it is a very different matter, very painful and not to anyones benefit, except maybe the one who is doing all the lying and cheating!!! otherwise Im sure when two people agree honestly to do this in order to get out of a relationship with the least amount of pain and suffering then it probably works and is a good idea.
will follow all your sites……till then bye for now